“True Blood’s” fifth-season finale had some great moments, but aside from Billith, it didn’t come close to the shocking game-changer we were expecting.
Here’s what we’d do differently if we were in charge of “Save Yourself,” exiting showrunner Alan Ball’s swan song:
1. Kill Bill: This show has needed to off a major character since its inception. For years we’ve been campaigning for that character to be Tara, but after becoming a vampire in Season 5 she transformed from a sobbing, chin-quivering perpetual victim to a badass babe and a perfect partner for Pam. Bill has never commanded a scene like Eric, and he was even more boring as a blood-thirsty prophet. We don’t have very high expectations for Billith in Season 6.
2. Respect Jason: Jason Stackhouse became a rich, complex character this season, and his farewell scenes with Hoyt were some of the most poignant in the entire series. In the finale, however, he regressed into an idiot caricature who might as well have been wearing an Obama mask with his sudden hallucination-inspired fanger bigotry. But if Jason had true-deathed Bill, imagine the repercussions on his relationship with both his grieving sister and a suddenly independent Jessica.
3. Sass up Alcide’s storyline: Except for those fantastic moments when Joe Manganiello is shirtless or making out with Sookie, Alcide’s arc was bor-ing this season. No one wants to see this hunk hiding out and drinking cheap beer in his dad’s trailer. We all knew Alcide would kill J.D., so why not spice it up with J.D. — or Alcide himself — killing Jackson? The aftermath would be one angry, angsty orphaned alpha male.
4. Fiercify Eric: It’s interesting that Bill and Eric have swapped places on the scales of morality, but we’d like to see the intense Viking be a wee bit more fierce. Even his staking of Russell Edgington seemed anticlimactic, and he seems unnecessarily submissive to Sookie. Their relationship would be much more dynamic if he’d regained some power instead of, for example, relinquishing the deed to her house. Maybe he can kill Bill in the Season 6 premiere?
5. Recognize the supporting players: We’re glad Lafayette is enjoying some lighthearted moments for a change, but can’t he do something besides serve delicious meals and drinks to the gang at Merlotte’s? Also, what happened to Terry (and baby Mikey, for that matter)? Lafayette, Arlene, Holly and Andy deserve better than to serve as comic relief for a silly fairy birthing scene.
Do you agree with our suggestions? Or did you love everything about the “True Blood” finale?