joe manganiello true blood s3 320 'True Blood': No gore left behind

True Blood” lives up to its reputation as one of the bloodiest good times on television this week, with an hour full of lovely, bloody gore.

The episodes starts with a bloody bang, or stake, when a caught Bill stakes Russell’s guard vamp and unsuccessfully tries to stake Russell himself. As he’s being lead away to his ordered death, Bill pleads Eric to help save Sookie, but Eric only brings her closer to Russell instead. Sookie begs Eric to help in saving Bill, but Eric refuses. Eric is clearly working on a plan of his own that will best suit him, and I’m thinking it has everything to do with the flashback we saw last week. Luckily for us his plan involves lots of coy flirting with the King. Russell demands to know “what” exactly Sookie is, and he is not taking waitress as a suitable answer, but she herself does not know.

Russell goes to Sophie-Anne and asks for her hand in marriage, which she is forced to accept because of her money and V troubles. Eric continues running his game on the King by renouncing his allegiance to Sophie-Anne and then again blatantly hitting on the King. Hee.

Lorena is the Bride in Russell’s Kill Bill fantasy, and is a bit conflicted about doing the deed. Bill begs her to kill him quickly. Instead, she tortures him slowly and it’s bloody and disgusting and completely over the top, just like this show likes it. Eventually, Cooter and Debbie Pelt show up and start drinking Bill’s blood just to make the whole thing even more disgusting.

Tara. Um, Tara. I don’t even know what to say about Tara. Except ew. She continues tp go along with Franklin’s crazy games (complete with bloody flesh-tearing neck biting!) but secretly projects to Sookie’s mind that she’ll get them out when the sun comes up. In the morning, we learn that Tara’s “plan” is to bash Franklin’s skull in, grab Sookie and then hightail it out of the mansion. Sookie goes to rescue Bill on her way out but Lorena stops her with a bite to the neck! Oh, snap!

Jason gets it on with the mysterious Crystal, but again she tells him it is too dangerous for them to be together and he should just forget her. I know where this story is going and I think it will get better, but for now it sort of puts the capital T in tedious. He doesn’t heed her warnings and shows up at Crystal’s house with flowers. He doesn’t take the hint when a man answers the door until Crystal pretends not to know Jason and calls the guy her fiance.

Lafayette and Jesus are getting closer, and we learn more about Jesus’ backstory when he tells Lafayette he was a product of rape. While they are at Lafayette’s house, three rednecks vandalize Lafayette’s Porsche and he and Jesus run them off, but in the process Jesus finds out about Lafayette’s drug dealing. I don’t really know how he thought a cook could afford a Porsche before, but I’ll go with it. Also: there’s no way Jesus is completely normal, right? Not on this show. His not knowing his father is a big ol’ red flag.

Also in this episode: Jessica and Arlene adjust to working together (and Jess takes a bite out of a customer), and Sam realizes his father is using a shifted Tommy for dog fighting.

Random thoughts:

  • Anna Paquin is really doing some good work this year. Last year she was barely featured on the show, so it’s nice to see her get some significant screen time again this season. The show does technically revolve around her character, after all.
  • LOVED the callback to the chain that wrapped itself around Tim Rattray’s neck in the pilot. I thought they were just pretending that didn’t happen.
  • The only good thing about Jason’s storyline tonight was him dressing in his letterman jacket to go “call” on Crystal. Hilarious.

Favorite quotes:

  • “Eric, what the f***?” – Sookie
  • “I would just love to rip you open and wear your ribcage like a hat.” – Lorena, to Sookie
  • “Please don’t kill me. I’m pregnant. That probably makes you want to eat me even more.” – Arlene, to Jessica
  • “Does the term Satan in a Sunday hat mean anything to you?” – Lafayette
  • “I remember everything.” – Eric (ERIC! That’s Pacey’s line!)

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Posted by:Carrie Raisler