true blood season 5 'True Blood' recap: Lilith Wants Me To Eat A BabyThat was kind of horrible, I think. It was boring and embarrassing and weird a whole lot of the time. It was also the eighth episode, end of Act II, so I’m not going to throw down about it, but it was not very enjoyable on a viewership level, for me.

One nice thing is Jason’s continuing sweetness toward Sookie, when he talks her out of “depleting her luminescence” by virtue of appealing to the fact that she is being dumb and that having any powers — even weirdly troubled ones — is still better than having no powers. So they run back to Faerieland to find out more about the powers, but instead of having a conversation about that, Claude and his sisters drag them out to the bridge where their parents die for the first of the episode’s several s�ances. In so doing, Sookie learns that the floppy-hatted vamp (who bears a resemblance to Bill Compton, for what it’s worth) is named “Warlow” I think? And now she’s hallucinating him? I think the faeries are sketch as hell and I think they are incepting Sookie to use her as a weapon to clean up the fallen world so they can come back. That’s what I think.

The other one million years of the episode had to do with werewolves, so that was fascinating. It seems more and more likely that Martha will end up Packmaster and it’s like, on the one hand, that’s awesome, but on the other hand, who gives a ****. Alcide has sex with Rikki for a million years and fights with JD for a million years and everybody makes wolf noises and it’s unbelievably dorky, and then Alcide quits the Pack, I think.

Over on the Hate Group side, there was some good stuff. A fake fangbanger lures Jessica into a trap — of James Bondian convenient complexity, of course — so that Hoyt can have the opportunity to kill her. Surprisingly, he does not. They do kill one of the boys, and Hoyt runs off for help. Meanwhile, Sam has intimidated her location out of the guy he tackled in the hospital, so it’s actually Sam and Andy that end up saving her… Just as a lost Hoyt is getting kidnapped by them yet again. Possibly by this “Dragon,” who may or may not be Maxine Fortenberry, who may or may not be involved in this storyline at all.

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