two and a half men ashton kutcher curtain call 'Two and a Half Men': Ashton Kutcher takes a bow and 4 spoilers from Charlie's fictional funeral

All the confidentiality agreements in the world couldn’t keep the details from the live run of the “Two and Half Men” Season 9 premiere under wraps.

The Sept. 19 episode, the first after Charlie Sheen‘s departure and with the addition of Ashton Kutcher, taped on Aug. 5.

In addition to telling you that they’re taking Kutcher’s whole “Internet billionaire” character quite literally (check out the above “f*** you flip flops,” straight out of “The Social Network”), we’ve rounded up a few more key plot points from the season opener, all of which have been leaked by TMZ.

It goes without saying that these tidbits come with a pretty big spoiler alert attached:

1. Charlie’s cause of death, apparently, is Parisian subway car. Harper’s stalker-turned-wife Rose (Melanie Lynskey) speaks of the accident at the funeral, not-so-subtly implying that she probably gave him a little push off the platform.

2. Lynskey isn’t the only guest star. Jenny McCarthy will reprise her role as one of Charlie’s many girlfriends and John Stamos (once rumored to replace Sheen) will make a cameo as one of Charlie’s previously unseen friends.

3. One of Charlie’s bowling shirts and a pair of his cargo shorts will hang on the funeral set in lieu of a casket or urn.

4. We can expect an almost instant reaction from the actual Charlie when the episode finally airs. The ousted actor tells TMZ, “I will be watching my fake funeral, attended by my fake ex-girlfriends, from my very, very real movie theater, with my very real hotties in tow.”

So will you be watching with Charlie?

Posted by:Mikey O'Connell