chuck lorre 450wi getty 'Two and a Half Men': Chuck Lorre's vanity cards still working through the past eight monthsOn Monday (Sept. 26), former “Two and a Half Men” star Charlie Sheen, Warner Bros. TV and “Men” creator Chuck Lorre issued a joint statement saying Sheen’s wrongful termination lawsuit was settled to the “mutual satisfaction” of all involved.

More or less, anyway. Lorre may still be sorting some things out, judging by the Chuck Lorre Productions vanity card that ran after Monday’s episode of “Men,” the second with new star Ashton Kutcher. Here’s the full text:

“Sometime last year I realized I had become the unwilling contestant in a reality show. I didn’t understand the rules, wasn’t sure if there even were any, and pretty much hated every second of it. For many months I kept hoping and praying that it would end. But it did not. Somewhere along the way, something inside me died. Anyway, now, suddenly, I’m being told that the reality show’s been cancelled. Apparently, it was just one of those things that somehow got out of control. Sorry. Whoops. Live and learn. Moving on. Game over. And that’s fine. I am so good with that. Yes, please, let’s all move on. There’s just one problem. That thing inside me that died? It walks at night. It’s angry. It’s hungry. And worst of all … it’s writing a tell-all book.”

Lorre refrained from saying anything in the vanity card after the “Two and a Half Men” premiere on Sept. 19, instead opting for a picture of three unlabeled aluminum cans, one of which was on its side. The cards after last week’s two “Big Bang Theory” episodes were jokey, not personal.

Chances are he’s not serious about that last line, but for what it’s worth, we’d probably read that tell-all book.

Posted by:Rick Porter