Will Ferrell stops by “Conan” on Wednesday night (Nov. 20) in character as Ron Burgundy from “Anchorman 2,” where he sings a campaign song about crack-smoking Toronto Mayor Rob Ford — Loverboy’s “Working for the Weekend.”

“My dear, dear, dear friend Mayor Rob Ford of Toronto is running for re-election. I hold him in highest regard, he’s the best. Outstanding individual,” says Burgundy. “I’m so thrilled, he’s the best.”

Other highlights include:

“You’re the only talk show that let me come on to promote my book. And I tried all of them — “Donahue,” “Maury Povich,” “The Magic Johnson Show.” It was as if the show was disconnected.”

“12 tips on how to survive a prison riot. Basic ones, like make homemade weapons — a shiv, a comb with a baby tooth on the end of it. I keep a small satchel of baby teeth. Probably my best tip is tip no. 8: Always keep your own poop in your cell with you. Bags of our own poop, collect it throughout your stay and just have it ready. If it goes down, there’s nothing crazier than this guy stained in poop running after you.”

“I make my own hair gel — eggs, bourbon (half a bottle), beer, preferably Schaefer, four cans, maple syrup, rotten apples, coconut milk, paint thinner, shoe polish, 20 bouillon cubs, cat urine, wet newspaper and cream of broccoli soup. You make a thick paste, you put tin the oven at 350 for three days and then apply liberally.”

“Different types of breath, one is called the Executive. Basically, all you need to do is eat sardines and smoke an old cigar. Breathe that on a woman and it says, ‘I’m here and you are in for a heck of a night.’ It’s like a beautiful, soft summer breeze wafting over a garbage dump.”

On sleeping with Bruce Lee: “It wasn’t a homosexual thing, it was the height of being manly. It was just two men. It was fast and furious, much like the way he fights. It was like two wolverines going at it in a burlap sack. I don’t know what hit me. At the end of the night, we just bowed and said, ‘Konichiwa.’ I’m actually proud of it, very proud of it.”

“Emerson College renaming their School of Communication the ‘Ron Burgundy School of Communication,’ for one day. … They’ve got the brass balls to put me on the headstone of that school. They’re gonna build a sculpture, they told me. If there’s not a bronze, full life-size sculpture of me, I walk.”

“Although, you should carry a little satchel of cats’ dongs when you go to prison, too, to go with the baby teeth. Doesn’t matter.”

“Anchorman 2” is in theaters nationwide Friday, Dec. 20.

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."