On “Weeds,” boyfriend long forgotten, Latrice won’t stop banging on the bathroom door. Nancy gets her in a headlock, while outside the room the social services people are still trying to figure out why Andy peed on a baby. Silas shows up and curses the lady out with his mad ASL skillz, so they split. Well, it was a nice cliffhanger nonetheless.
Nancy heads off to make the eponymous exchange, Stevie for Shane, but instead of Stevie — a baby — she brings weaponry — that crossbow they’re always treating like a baby — and shoots Cesar in the thigh. That part was awesome, as was the part where he tried to kill her with a skee-ball. She calls Cesar’s wife, thinking that maybe her Lady Curse isn’t in effect today, but of course Cesar’s wife tells him to kill Nancy and come home for dinner, because women are the enemy.
Also men. Esteban refuses to talk to Nancy altogether, which it turns out bothers her almost as much as the various abductions of her kids, because he didn’t even have the courtesy of asking to be released. He just released himself, and sent thugs.
Ignacio takes Shane and Doug to a Hungry Kuntry Buffet, where the latest in a parade of crazy-looking guest stars is also serving Silas, Andy and Stevie on the other side of the restaurant. Ignacio and Shane have a sort of silly competition to see who can eat the grossest things, because Shane’s been looking for Ignacio’s Pilar-approval the entire time, while Doug just zones out on how hungry he is.
The best part of all this is when Ignacio asks if Shane ever sees Pilar’s face and Shane says, “Only when I j*** off.” For some reason that was the most amazing part? Also, Nealon does a pretty good job with Doug’s epiphany where he decides not to escape, because it would be abandoning Shane or whatever, considering what a f***ing cartoon Doug is. Finally, Andy tries to start s***, but of course that pusses out immediately so then they are all hostages together.
Nancy shows up with Cesar’s gun and there’s a short standoff with Ignacio which only ends once Shane takes the gun from Nancy, impressing Ignacio with his very clear capability of shooting a man in a crowded restaurant without blinking. So apparently Shane’s crazy is a resource now, of which we sort of approve. As Silas suggests, perhaps he will become one of those serial killers that only kills serial killers, serially.
Ignacio takes off in Kimmie’s car after a heartfelt goodbye to his son-in-psychosis Shane, and Nancy packs up her boys — plus fucking Doug — and leaves town in Cesar’s towncar, with a sad final voicemail for Esteban that in no way seems like an actual final voicemail for Esteban but is sad nonetheless.
Photo credit: Showtime