brings on the heartbreak this week as our favorite geek-boy spy finds out that sometimes, love just ain’t enough. Sometimes, love can get you killed. Plus, there’s a stunningly fabulous Buy More Cage Match, Bryce shows his hand, and Captain Awesome brings the cheese — but still managed to be oh so very awesome.

This spoiler mourns the lack of Huey Lewis, but appreciates the use of Heart. Rock on, Anna Wu!

Last week, Chuck was all set to get snuggly with Sarah, but discovered that Bryce had popped up again. It’s like his spy superpower is cock-blocking. Bryce is oblivious to Chuck’s pain. And why not? Everyone is talking about what a fabulous spy he is, and his cover story involves massive public displays of affection with Sarah.

This week’s mission involves retrieving an chip that contains the latest update for the Intersect, and seriously, why are America’s spy agencies still trying to put all of their information in one easily stealable place? Haven’t they figured out it’s a major security risk yet? Heck, even the evil cabal on Prison Break knows better!

Fulcrum has enlisted snaky computer genius Von Hayes to decrypt the chip. As it contains Sarah and Casey’s cover information, along with everything else that’s been going on since Chuck got the big download, the government is anxious to get it back. Conveniently, Von Hayes is throwing a massive party, perfect for infiltration. Sarah and Bryce will pose as a married couple who indulge in way too much PDA, while Chuck will be a waiter and attempt to flash on things. The first part goes ok — Bryce and Sarah perform a lambada ("The forbidden dance!" Chuck gasps) that is barely legal. The second part… well, Chuck is so busy being horrified at seeing the woman he loves writhing around with his former best friend that he gets kicked out.

Now that Sarah and Bruce have established their need to Get a Room, they are free to break into the vault. However, Chuck finally flashes on something on the way out — a "psycho elfin queen"  Fulcrum agent. Chuck breaks back in (with Casey’s help) in time to see that (1) Von Hayes is carrying the chip, and (2) the psycho elfin queen is fine with shooting people in the face. When Sarah hears that Chuck is in danger, she abandons the mission to protect him. Von Hayes escapes, and Sarah is injured saving Chuck.

Later, Bryce tells Chuck that Sarah has feelings for Chuck — and those feelings will get her killed. Chuck doesn’t want to believe it. Besides, he’s a bit busy: Chuck finds Von Hayes and gets him to agree to turn over the chip — for $4.5 million. At the handoff, Von Hayes gets spooked and runs. Some thugs for hire surround him, and Bryce and Casey are planning to shoot their way through things. Chuck has a better solution — he pays the thugs off. Duh! Casey goes after the thugs to get the cash back (America’s taxpayers have enough problems right now without losing another chunk of change…), but the psycho elfin queen is waiting for Chuck. She snags him and threatens to shoot if Bryce doesn’t turn over the chip. Bryce catches sight of Sarah and figures everything will be fine. She never had a problem taking a shot at random thugs that were using him as cover. But Sarah hesitates — she can’t bring herself to risk shooting Chuck. Fortunately, Casey doesn’t have the same qualms. He takes the Fulcrum agent out, and Chuck is saved.

That doesn’t mean all is well, though — Chuck realizes that Bryce is right, and he could get Sarah killed. What’s more, he figures out he’ll never have a normal life with her — even after the Intersect is out of his head, Sarah will still be off saving the world in a death-defying fashion. He can’t live with that.

Bryce says goodbye to Chuck — I now you hate me, but you have to trust that I’m looking out for you. I always have been. He’s got a funny way of showing it — the spiffy spy sunglasses he leaves for Chuck are embedded with the new chip. When Chuck puts them on, he gets the latest data shoved right into his cerebellum. Then the chip burns up. Chuck now has a whole new set of facts in his head. Joy.

The Buy Morons
Buy More is beset by the hulking tyrants from the local sporting-goods store, who take over — and trash — the PlayStation demo room on their lunch break. Lester orders Morgan to get them out, which goes as well as can be expected. After a circuit is pulled at a key moment, Mitt of the Mighty Jocks arranges to meet Morgan and Lester in the parking lot for a thrashing. The guys stay in the store all night to avoid bloodshed.

But finally, they can’t avoid confrontation. (Well, Morgan can’t. Lester hides.) Morgan meets Mitt in the Buy More cage, and it looks like he’s about to get pulverized. But what’s this? Anna shows up with a couple of camera tripods and beats the snot out of Mitt in a spectacular fashion. Even Casey is impressed. Plus, there’s Heart’s Barracuda playing. How can you not love that?

Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends

  • So, do you think Chuck really believes he and Sarah could never work out, or is he just quashing the relationship to keep her safe? I think it’s mostly the latter, but I do hope there’s a part of Chuck that realizes that yes, he can get a woman who’s right for him (Pick me! Pick me!)
  • They played the entire breakup incredibly well. Both Sarah and Chuck were so sad, and then they pasted on smiles and walked into the apartment as if everything was normal and happy. Oh, my heart!
  • Captain Awesome has some great moments this week. He volunteers to take care of Sarah’s stalker ex, and is none-to-gentle bandaging Bryce’s wounds. He smiles genially the whole time.
  • Awesome’s little speech about being a cardio-thoracic specialist who knows the human heart was tremendously cheesy — and yet, still sweet and (it must be said) awesome. How I love that man.
  • Morgan complains about Lester’s behavior: "I once read that Mussolini started in retail." I’d believe that.
  • I loved the bit where Von Hayes and Chuck commiserated on how tough it was to do all this spy stuff. They were so happy to find another person who understood!
  • Von Hayes asks Chuck to save him from Fulcrum: "I’m living in a Lamborghini. You have no idea how little legroom there is!" My heart bleeds, Von Hayes…
  • Anna tries to tell Morgan he doesn’t have to deal with a bully. "This isn’t high school," she says. "No, it’s worse. It’s Buy More, " he replies. (I have to agree with him. As god as my witness, I will never work retail again!)
  • Lester gives Morgan some advice in the cage match: "Sweep the leg! Sweep the leg!" Thanks, Lester!
  • Anna’s fight is fantastic — the run around the wall of the cage? The tripods adapted as staff weapons? The music? Bliss.
  • Casey, watching the fight: "Can I get I background clearance on one Anna Wu? I have a candidate for possible field work." That would rock!
Posted by:Sarah Jersild