It’s a known fact that women love bad boys. But we also know that “every girl’s crazy ’bout a sharp-dressed man.” So what’s a girl to do? Well, we suggest they watch White Collar Tuesdays on USA Network. Neal Caffrey (Matt Bomer) is a world-class con artist, which meets the bad-boy quotient. But, he’s also dressed like one of the cast of Mad Men, which makes him sharp-dressed. That means while the caper nature of the show will appeal to guys everywhere, women of the world will be busy swooning over television’s perfect man. So call your friends and neighbors; we’re throwing a White Collar party!
Setting the scene:
We’ve never been investigated by the FBI, and that is why we are throwing caution to the wind this week and building an illegal printing operation in our living room where we can print phony Treasury bills, stock certificates and passports. Grab a large printing press with stand from an art supply shop along with all the necessary accessories, such as the plates, blocks, rubber brayers and inks, etc. Then, seeing as how you really have no idea what you are doing, go to the copy store and print out a few thousand copies of a fake stock. (Google images of common stock to see what you need to work on in Adobe Illustrator.) You might also want to have a few unfinished copies of major works of art. Buy a few Picasso posters, then either have an art student partially replicate each one, or get creative at the copy store. Consider giving real stock as party favors, one share at a time for whoever does best on White Collar trivia or any of the other games from the show’s Web site. Other gifts could be fake passports made up with phony names for each guest.
Regardless of whether you’ve got Neal’s sense of style or not, you certainly can milk the White Collar angle for all it’s worth: Order detachable white collars for everyone. Narrow ties with tie clips are also a good choice, as are printer’s aprons.
On the menu:
Bad wraps. Actually, they’ll be good because we are using the recipe from Food Network. Serve them wrapped in worthless stock certificates.
On the hi-fi:
White Collar Crime by Grace Jones, Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson, Hey Bernie (Bernie Madoff Song) by TPBottoms, If I Were a Rich Man by Zero Mostel, Legal Tender by the B-52s.
The world’s previously most successful white-collar criminal, Bernie Madoff, used to dine at least once a week at Primola restaurant on Manhattan’s Upper East Side. Why not grab some guests and head into New York for some Madoff-style Italian? Grab a table in the back; that was his favorite.