trying to solve “Wheel of Fortune.” Justin only guesses once, but he guesses correctly. Final three: Justin, Cathy, and Linda.
From now on, no more teams! After each game, someone’s going home. My wife mentions that if Justin goes all the way, she will do things to my television that I do not want done to my television. So, GIRL POWER!
Game #3: “Making New Friends in Japan!”
The gist? It’s kind of a scavenger hunt by way of bachelor party dares. Each player has to go out into the city and get people to do five things: 1) bow ten times, 2) apply lipstick to the player and let the player kiss them on the cheek, 3) recite a phrase so they tickle the player, 4) lend the player their phone to make a call, and 5) kill a baby seal. Kidding. Just seeing if you’re paying attention. Number 5 requires the player to make five people do ten chorus line kicks. At that point, I guess you’re in the Majide fraternity. Last player to reach the Tokyo Tower after completing these tasks will be sent home.
The outcome? Helicopters follow the action, as if they are tracking terrorists. And in pink wigs and schoolchildren outfits, the players do seem pretty scary. It’s pretty interesting to finally bring the madness of the game into the streets, proving that not all of Japan is as insane as those inside the studio. I won’t describe all the action, but suffice to say there’s much that’s lost in translation. After Stage 4, Rome Kanda moves the whole crowd to the Tokyo Tower, where Linda arrives first. So she’s into the finals. It’s then a foot race for the final position, and Cathy keeps the winning streak alive by beating Justin by mere seconds.
Judge Bob leads the way to the final reward: a celebration in their honor hosted by Rome. The girls walk through the crowd like freakin’ rock stars. It’s like when I roll into a TGIFriday’s. Only when I go to get my mozzarella sticks on, I don’t get greeted by the first female Japanese defense minister. And is it wrong to say the minister is kind of a looker? Because she is. She’s way hotter than Donald Rumsfeld.
The next day, it’s onto the final game of the year. Everything this season boils down to this game. Please let there be flour please let there be flour please let there be flour….
Final Game: “Super Majide!”
The gist? It’s sort of a mash-up of every game played so far this year rolled into one. Conveyer belts, balloons, spinning floors, tennis balls attacks, sticky floors, hanging squids, dogs and cats, living together, MASS HYSTERIA! It’s the insane obstacle course to end all insane obstacle courses.
The outcome? I can’t describe the action and respect myself in the morning. It’s messy, it’s gross, it’s slippery, it’s better than “Cats!” Also, because this game involves Cathy, why delay the inevitable? She wins. As always. A game show streak to rival Ken Jennings. And Ken never had to bite squid, people. All hail Cathy! Omedeto!
Did the right person win? And will you come back next summer?