“: baked regret! Stuffed recriminations! Fried emotions! Thus goes another episode in which the once everyday family now struggles to pretend like everything’s normal, when in fact both the family and the audience know otherwise.
Helping prepare the feisty feast was one Emeril Lagasse, remarkably subdued when not on his own show. The only “BAM”s all evening were either Kate-prompted or Kate-provided, the latter due to her remarkable decision to start beating her world-famous house guest with a spatula. With various levels of help from the family, Emeril and his assistant whipped up a series of casseroles to celebrate what Kate called the “accomplishment” of reaching 100 episodes.
But really, why just hint at her words? Let’s delve into the juiciest quotes from this week’s episode, following them up by what subtext lurked under the surface.
“At this point whoever lands on the interview chair does the interview, it looks like. Don’t ask any questions, it’s just…it’s called rolling with life.” Kate
“And by ‘rolling with life’ I mean ‘rolling in the sack with Deanna.'”
“I think the biggest thing being with Jon and Kate today has been the challenge of cooking for large families. What I want to tell folks out there is to think healthy and think economical. And casseroles are a great way to stretch that dollar.” Emeril
“Another way to help stretch your dollar is have a ridiculous number of children, as you’ll score a television show on TLC, book deals, and I’ll eventually come to your house to cook your meals. And that’s one to grow on.”
“Kate wants the crispy onion crunch on top.” Emeril
“Know that songs about how what Lola wants, Lola gets? Same thing applies here. Only Lola never beat the holy hell out of someone with a spatula. Can I go home now? I want my mommy. For the love of all that’s holy, just give her the crispy onion crunch!”
“Me and Elan became really close because I don’t cook, but apparently I’m good in the food prep area. I was peeling garlic for four hours.” Jon
“I asked to be on garlic duty not only because I’m not skilled in the kitchen, but because garlic can be used as a powerful weapon against various horrific monsters. Vampires, vampires hate garlic. Same with werewolves. A whole bunch of mythical creatures are vulnerable to it, and until I figure out exactly which one my wife has turned into, I’m playing the odds.”
“We’ve got boilage over here, big time!” Kate
“I’m nominally talking about the water in the pot atop the stove, but really I’m talking about the meltdown I’m about to have over strangers in my kitchen.”
“He’s never been in our kitchen before, but he was just grabbing stuff and doing his thing. Was kinda funny, because that’s Kate’s territory, and he went into her territory.” Jon
“Land wars have started over less, people. Did you notice that I kept Emeril or his assistant between her and me the entire time? I’m not freakin’ stupid.”
“How’s it going over here?” “Degrading.” Kate & Jon (as he grates cheese)
“Not a pun. Not a pun. Not a pun. Is she looking? Whew. Not a pun.“
“What an accomplishment!” Kate, about reaching the 100th episode
“They threatened to cancel us halfway through Season 4, which is when the two of us dug in deep, thought about what was best for the family, and decided to out-crazy Speidi in a desperate attempt to cling to fame. And look, Emeril’s in our kitchen. So, BAM you, suckas.”
What did you think of the 100th episode? Was Emeril a nice addition, or just an excuse to force the couple to interact? What are the odds this show makes it to 200 episodes? Leave your thoughts below!
Ryan is ordering take out over at Boob Tube Dude.