With outspoken Amy Schumer making her first appearance as “Saturday Night Live” host, you just knew things were going to get wild. And the “Trainwreck” star didn’t disappoint, as she took the stage and delivered a monologue that seemed to borrow heavily from her stand-up comedy — a show for adults only.

“I just met Hillary Clinton,” Schumer says, kicking things off. “I was like ‘Oh my God, I have to ask her a question, I have a few minutes with her.'”

“So I’m like ‘Do you drink?’ She’s like ‘Yeah, I do. But it’s hard because I’m busy,'” Schumer jokes, telling a story about the Democratic presidential candidate, saying Hillary only drinks tequila when she’s feeling pressured: “Who’s hazing Hillary Clinton?”

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Sprinkling liberally with phrases like “grabbing ankles,” “holes” and “golden vaginas,” Schumer’s outrageous monologue was enough to make Sarah Silverman blush. The bottom line was simple: If you’re an Amy fan, you loved it. If not, you probably didn’t.

The highlight, judging by audience applause, was Schumer’s story about an encounter with Bradley Cooper. After finding herself in a conversation with the handsome actor, she kept expecting her to wrap it up and move along.

“I keep giving him an out, and he says ‘Hang out! How’s your sister?'” she says. “And I’m like ‘You remember my sister’?”

She spent so much time hanging with the “American Sniper” star, in fact, that Schumer thinks they might now technically have a relationship. “Am I dating Bradley Cooper? I don’t know how Hollywood works, but I’m pretty sure I’m dating Bradley Cooper,” she smiles. “I changed my status from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship with Bradley Cooper’.”

Wearing a sexy sheer black dress, Schumer nevertheless got a big laugh with a self-deprecating joke. “It just looks like a lava lamp [under here],” she says. “Things are just kind of moving around and not really finding a home.”

As it turned out, the monologue was only the beginning of Schumer’s NC-17 evening. Later on in the show, she did sketches that focused on porn, guns, the asassination of Abraham Lincoln and other topics. It’s only appropriate that “Saturday Night Live” is filmed in New York — because like Frank Sinatra, Amy Schumer certainly did the show her way.

Posted by:Larry Carroll

Writer, Geek, Bon Vivant.