It’s here, “Bachelor” fans. It’s the annual “Women Tell All” special, or what this season is definitely known affectionately as “The Night of the Nutjobs.” But before the crazy comes out, shoutout to the “Bachelor” viewing party that was serving nothing but corn- or pork-related products. Iowa <3s you, ladies. *hat tip*
Britt’s hot seat
This is an interesting way to kick things off. Britt seems fairly genuine in how hurt she is about both the women’s opinions of her and the way the show edited her. It seems as though a few off-hand comments about not being ready for children or how small Arlington is (which are both fine opinions to have) set her on a collision course with not looking great in her exit, because she was a bit of a pill on that group date where she didn’t get the rose and the show painted a picture of her as being duplicitous.
It also seems like Carly, while very funny in her running commentary of the show and of Britt specifically, maybe does have some insecurity issues, as Jillian stated. Because calling Jillian “a man” and saying she “has a d***” in front of Chris is not at all cool or funny.
What is funny, though, is Jillian having no qualms whatsoever in throwing down at the “Women Tell All.”
What it probably boils down to is that it’s not as simple as Carly being jealous of Britt, and it’s not as simple as Britt being the pretty girl who dismisses criticism by saying “Oh, she’s just jealous of me.” It’s somewhere in the middle, it would seem.
Kelsey’s hot seat
Now, Ashley I. isn’t much better. She doesn’t like Kelsey drinking the haterade, but as Harrison rightly points out, Ashley was spewing plenty of hate herself, including questioning whether Kelsey’s husband even died, which is pretty gross.
They’re both fairly awful people — even Harrison thinks so, look at his serious blinking:
Extra thumbs down to Kelsey for besmirching Harrison’s beautiful silk handkerchief …
… but props to Ashley I. for her amazing gestures and facial expressions during this entire segment. Did they ply with her alcohol before the taping? Because she and her insane lashes and brows are on fire.
Ashley S’s hot seat
Not much happens until right at the end — please let this girl, who is either mentally not-all-there or the most gifted satirist of our time, join in on “Bachelor in Paradise 2,” as she is asked to do by Harrison. Fingers crossed. Also fingers crossed for Ashley Iaconetti, though Kelsey Poe can skip.
UPDATE: Ashley S. agreed to come on “Bachelor in Paradise 2” during the “After the Final Rose.” Yesssssss!
Kaitlyn’s hot seat
The next “Bachelorette” appears to have been chosen. Kaitlyn nails this audition to anchor the next season of the show, right? She’s vulnerable but not a total mess and seems very open and honest. Kaitlyn’s got this in the bag.
Chris’ hot seat
Britt just wants to tell Chris how great he is, but Kaitlyn wants some answers. It’s good for her esteem with the fans, because she seems strong without coming across as a desperate nag. Chris handles it as best he can, by basically saying he did the best he could.
The Jade conversation is much more (ahem) awkward. The crux of the issue is Chris’ blog that described having to look at Jade’s Playboy spread as “awkward.” It’s understandable that that hurt her feelings because this is obviously a thing that follows Jade around in relationships and she maybe regrets a little (her words). But look — if it was awkward for Chris, it was awkward. That’s fair. As he says on the reunion show, he’s never been asked by a girl he’s dating to look at her nude photos. That’s a little awkward.
Probably a better way to have handled this was to gently and kindly say no to seeing the photos, but would production have even let him get away with that? Highly unlikely.
So, the “Women Tell All” comes in like a lion and goes out like a sad little Playboy-posing lamb. The bloopers are a good way to end things, though — and who’s going to buy Harrison’s romance novel? Tee hee.
Next week: The finale! Does Becca have a shot? Doesn’t really seem like it.