“This week our country mourns the loss of a great institution gone before its time,” says Bee as way of introduction, with a tombstone reading March 20, 1854 – March 3, 2016.
Bee says the death of the GOP came from the party “violently tearing itself in half.”
“The death throes started Thursday morning, when the Republican establishment suddenly woke up and realized Donald Trump was doing to their brand what his a**hole son does to real elephants.”
She goes on to air footage of Mitt Romney denouncing Trump and then takes aim at Sarah Palin, by way of John McCain.
“Does anyone else who led the party to a humiliating loss wanna weigh in?” says Bee as footage rolls of McCain calling Trump “uninformed” and “dangerous.”
“Oh, don’t you dare. Don’t you even dare,” she continues. “The guy who gave us Trump 1.0 does not get to complain about the latest upgrade. No — no, no, no. If you didn’t think the Arctic menad who couldn’t name a magazine was dangerous and unqualified, then you are not allowed to use those words because you don’t know what they mean.”
“But the GOP’s final death rattle came that night,” says Bee, over footage of the latest Republican debate where the candidates snipe and yell at each other like children.
“I don’t mean to sound sexist, but I think men are just too emotional to be president,” says Bee, leading into Trump’s infamous penis-size comment.
“This is where we are? The party of Lincoln has completed its long journey ‘a house divided against itself cannot stand’ to ‘you should see how huge my pocket Donald looks when I masturbate with my totally normal-sized hands.'”
“Republican voters deserve better and they know it,” says Bee.