Right now, every “Game of Thrones” fan is eager to know what Season 7 will be like. Actress Maisie Williams, however, is one of the few people in the world who actually has access to the top-secret scripts.
Call her the new Roger Ebert, because Williams’ review succeeds in simultaneously getting us excited and making us laugh. With that in mind, we thought it could be fun to try and sum up the earlier seasons of “GoT” in the same two-word form, while offering a proposed take by Maisie as well.
Summary: Setting the stage for HBO’s epic series, the first season introduces us to such characters as Daenerys (and the ill-fated Prince Viserys) Targaryen, Jaime Lannister, Queen Cersei and the Stark offspring. The most talked-about moment, however, is the shocking beheading of Arya Stark’s father Lord Eddard.
Our summary: “It begins”
Maisie’s summary: “Dad? No!”
Summary: Tyrion becomes Hand at King’s Landing, Theon Greyjoy is reunited with his sister and father, Catelyn frees Jamie Lannister. The battle of Blackwater is a season highlight, with Baratheon on the attack and Tyrion using wildfire to save the day. Arya spends much of the season on the run with Gendry and Hot Pie.
Our summary: “Holy wildfire!”
Maisie’s summary: “I’m tired!”
Summary: The Lannisters hold a firm grasp on the Iron Throne, as the Starks are on the run and unsure of who is alive or dead. Oh yeah, the Red Wedding also kills nearly half of them. Stannis Baratheon is left reeling after his military defeat, Jon Snow joins Mance Rayder’s wildling army and Daenerys recruits the Unsullied to join her cause. Arya befriends Sandor “The Hound” Clegane.
Our summary: “Joffrey sucks!”
Maisie’s summary: “He’s grumpy!”
Summary: Joffrey and Margaery Tyrell are married — but the former is poisoned at his wedding. Standing accused, Tyrion demands a trial by combat, but is freed by Jaime. Sansa Stark finally escapes King’s Landing, Bran searches for the three-eyed raven with Hodor and the Reeds. Arya and Hound encounter Brienne of Tarth, who she believes has killed him. The season concludes with Arya buying passage on a ship to Braavos.
Our summary: “Mountain crush!”
Maisie’s summary: “I’m out!”
Summary: Daenerys’ ascension is being undermined by the Sons of the Harpy, Tyrion and Varys launch an uneasy alliance and Jon Snow becomes the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch. Sansa marries the cruel Ramsay Bolton, Melisandre talks Stannis into burning his daughter alive as a sacrifice. The Sparrows assert themselves in King’s Landing, while Arya trains with the Faceless Men and is struck blind.
Our summary: “Dragons? Sweet!”
Maisie’s summary: “Contacts suck!”
Summary: Jon Snow is resurrected by Melisandre, Hodor dies while holding the door, Daenerys burns down the Khals. The Hound returns and Cersei takes out virtually all her enemies in one fell swoop while being crowned the new Queen of Westeros. Arya gets her sight back, is nearly killed, then returns to Westeros while revealing her true self.
Our summary: “Snow lives!”
Maisie’s summary: “A girl.”