Having a successful Thanksgiving holiday depends on many things: Scheduling your time appropriately to prepare boatloads of food, inviting only the family members you can stand to be in a room with for three hours, unanimously deciding to avoid all talk of politics and many many more.
Luckily, Lorelai (Lauren Graham) and Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel) have provided us with a few tried and true rules on how to make this day of thanks one to look forward to instead of dread.
Never skip the rolls
You might think you're being smart by skipping the most filling part of the meal in order to save room for all the other great stuff, but actually you're just cheating yourself out of delicious buttery goodness. Eat the rolls and skimp on something boring like gravy or cranberry sauce.
Kiss in a designated safe space
If you're bringing a significant other home for the holidays, make sure to keep displays of affection to the designated safe spaces. Heaven forbid an ex sees you making out with your new bae or get accused of having a "lame-o kiss."
Schedule your volunteer hours ahead of time
If you haven't made plans to stop by your local soup kitchen yet, get on it. Those things fill up fast during the holidays, and we wouldn't want you to miss out on doing a good deed on Thanksgiving -- or being able to reference said good deed on your college applications.
Stick your tofurkey in a napkin
Tofu turkey sounds like the most disgusted meal ever, and according to Lorelai Gilmore, it totally is. Keep a few extra napkins handy so you can slip your tofurkey into them and throw it away when no one is looking.
Don't deep-fry your turkey
Why you would every think it's okay to deep fry a turkey on Thanksgiving is beyond us, but if you're considering it, consider otherwise. You'll end up burning your front lawn and seriously considering throwing someone's nephew in the pot in a drunken haze.
Thanksgiving is not the time for new pets
Thanksgiving is already a totally hectic holiday full of in-laws and emotional baggage, so if you're considering buying a new pet, learn from Kirk's (Sean Gunn) mistake. Hold off until the new year and avoid being scratched on your body until January.
Don't forget the horrific history of Thanksgiving
It's all well and good to give thanks for the great stuff in our lives, but also maybe take a minute to remember that the colonization of the new world seriously screwed over Native Americans. When you think about it, the pilgrims kind of sucked.
"Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life" premieres Friday (Nov. 25) at 3 a.m. ET/12 a.m. PT on Netflix.