As the weather gets colder, dynastic families and foul-mouthed hate mongers battle with skilled tacticians, time-tested warriors and smooth-talking manipulators of popular opinion. Some characters are struck down, only to rise from the dead; others seem destined for greatness, but are destroyed by a mistake on the battlefield. But this much is clear: Winter is coming, and only one of them can sit on the coveted throne.
No, we’re not talking about Westeros — but the 2016 presidential election.
The more interviews, debates and analysis done on the latest run for presidency, the the clearer the parallels between the modern-day political scene and HBO’s bloodthirsty hit series become. Instead of dragons, white walkers and three-eyed crows, these folks are navigating wiped-clean email servers, phony armies and bribery scandals. Which got Zap2it wondering: Which ‘Game of Thrones’ character most closely resembles each of our candidates?
Hillary Clinton/Catelyn Stark
Like Hillary, Catelyn’s spouse is a former ruler who wasn’t loved by everyone, but invoked fierce loyalty from many. Both women’s children have been made famous, every move they’ve made for years has been sung about around the collective campfire, and they are largely regarded as strong-willed, intelligent feminists. To many, Hillary is still seen as the front-runner for the throne — but for a long time, it appeared like Catelyn was going to similarly shake things up, and we all know how that ended.
Lesson for Hillary to learn: If Donald Trump invites you to another wedding, just say no.
Donald Trump/Joffrey Baratheon
Both were born into wealth, exempted from any sort of military service and blessed with the unquantifiable gift of eyeball magnetism — love or hate them, you can’t take your eyes off them. Although many decades would seem to separate them on the surface, both are similar in the adjectives they bring to mind: Unfiltered, politically incorrect and frequently dubious in their presentation of the facts. But let’s be honest, when you found out Joffrey was going to be king, you couldn’t wait to see it — and if The Donald wins, well, that would make one helluva reality show.
Lesson for Donald to learn: If you get an inauguration, be sure to have one of the Secret Service agents serve as your taster.
Carly Fiorina/Daenerys Targaryen
Like the Queen of Dragons, Carly is from a far-away land that most in the realm do not understand: Among a sea of career politicians, she is a former CEO. And much like the Khaleesi burning down large swaths of enemies, Carly seems to enjoy similarly torching her opponents. As the second-most-famous female politician in the race, Carly would seem to have a tough road ahead — but then again, so did Dany, and look at the army she commands now.
Lesson for Carly to learn: Now that you’re rising in the polls, you’ll need backup for the next debate; bring a dragon.
Bernie Sanders/Tyrion Lannister
Both men are extremely intelligent, wield common sense like an unsheathed sword and have considerable powers of persuasion. But just as Tyrion can never rule the realms because he is a dwarf, Bernie isn’t blessed with the typical looks of a presidential politician.
Lesson for Bernie to learn: Tyrion was smart enough to recently throw his support behind Daenerys in exchange for a high-ranking position; a similar self-awareness could land you the VP job.
Jeb Bush/Jon Snow
Jeb and Jon both come from politically-connected families who have ruled in the past, yet both are viewed by many as the black sheep — Jon because he’s a bastard, Jeb because he’s just not as charismatic as the Georges. Jon angered many by falling in love with a wildling, the enemy they were sworn to fight; Jeb is a Republican whose wife was born in Mexico. Jon worked hard to make a name for himself on The Wall, a remote, strange place where old pale people roam the streets; Jeb was governor of Florida.
Lesson for Jeb to learn: No matter how far you advance in politics, there will always be a woman behind you whispering: “You know nothing, Jeb Bush.”