When it comes to bad-mouthing their enemies, politicians are known for doing it better than anyone else. But as far as having a sense of humor, well, that is a trait in Washington far less common.
That’s not the case, however, for Presidential candidate and US Senator Rand Paul, who for the third consecutive year is celebrating a fictional “Seinfeld” holiday with a public airing of grievances. Whether it’s enough to give him a bump in the polls remains to be seen — but either way, it’s nice to have Paul celebrating Festivus with the rest of us.
Paul kicked off the holiday festivities first thing in the morning of the 23rd, as per Frank Constanza’s instructions in the classic “Seinfeld” episode “The Strike.” Although it remains unclear whether Paul put up an aluminum pole in his office, he certainly does enjoy the “airing of the grievances” part of the holiday — and when you’re running for the highest office in the land, there are plenty of people to have grievances with.
“Where to start but Donald Trump,” he tweets, referencing Trump’s recent controversial use of the word “schlonged,” a Yiddish insult. ” If you bring the Yiddish, know what it means. Guess that’s more of a kvetch than a grievance.”
Later, he set his sights on Ted Cruz and rumors that the born-in-Calgary GOP candidate is actually Canadian: “My friend has still not pledged to issue executive order declaring Canadian ‘bacon’ is not real bacon. Makes me suspicious.”
For the most part, Paul kept things appropriately light-hearted for a holiday based on an old sitcom joke. But every now and then, he did show his teeth a little.
“To my absentee friend Marco Rubio,” Paul tweets of the Florida Senator who has been dogged by his poor voting record. “I didn’t put your $170k+ salary in my waste report today. But I could have.”
Paul may have saved his funniest tweets, however, for Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush. Regarding the Democratic front-runner and her recent debate moment where she was missing from the stage, he says: “Carly Fiorina has zero trouble making it back from commercial breaks Hillary Clinton. Just saying.” And he capped it off with the hashtag #WarOnWomensRooms.
As for the notoriously tongue-tied Bush, he writes: “Jeb Bush is always trying to change the debate rules to allow extra time for awkward pauses in answers. Not gonna happen.”
Paul also tweeted many, many instances of government waste in 2015. But if you want to maintain a cheery disposition for the holiday season, you might want to wait until after the New Year to read over them.