Wonder what all the fuss is about Pluto? New “Late Show” host Stephen Colbert and astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson are here to help — and explain why it’s still not a planet.

“This morning, at 7:49 Eastern time, the New Horizon space craft made the closest ever pass near Pluto after being launched almost a decade ago, back when NASA had the cash to do cool stuff like this,” says Colbert in a new video for CBS, referring to Tuesday’s (July 14) pass of the probe near Pluto. “After almost a century of near-total mystery, we finally know what Pluto really looks like — a Malted Milk Ball left in the rain 4.7 billion miles from the sun.”

Tyson adds, “It’s not every day where you get to be the first eyes to set upon a completely undiscovered land. … It is especially beautiful and especially exciting because no one has seen this before yesterday. Not only that, there’s higher resolution photos … and we’ll have even more detail than what is here.”

But Colbert wants to remind everyone: “Remember, this is 2005 technology, so the probe is also posting all the photos to Friendster.”

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He’s kidding, but seriously — the probe was launched 10 years ago and is just now reaching Pluto, so it really does have the upload speeds of a 56K modem.

Tyson also has a lot of interesting information about Pluto and its moon, Charon — but don’t start calling Pluto a planet again. It’s still isn’t big enough to qualify as a planet. It’s a dwarf planet.

“Jupiter is 11 times wider than Earth and Earth is five times wider than Pluto … rather than call Pluto a planet, I’d rather take all the four rocky planets and call them dwarf planets,” says Tyson, at which Colbert is absolutely outraged.

“You would turn Earth into a dwarf planet?! … That’s where everyone turned the corner just now, you can hear audible gasps out there,” exclaims Colbert.

“The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” launches Tuesday, Sept. 8 on CBS.

Posted by:Andrea Reiher

TV critic by way of law school, Andrea Reiher enjoys everything from highbrow drama to clever comedy to the best reality TV has to offer. Her TV heroes include CJ Cregg, Spencer Hastings, Diane Lockhart, Juliet O'Hara and Buffy Summers. TV words to live by: "I'm a slayer, ask me how."