Monday night’s (Feb. 6) “Bachelor” was quite a wild ride! Skipping right to the good stuff, as if the producers heard our plea that it was far overdue to start cutting the fat, we said goodbye to Jaimi, Josephine, and Alexis — and the last, at least, we weren’t really ready to see leave. The aspiring dolphin trainer turned out to be one cool chick, and we wanted more of her.
Instead, Nick chooses to keep Whitney around. (Who? Exactly.) And now we care even less — because she gets sent home later in the episode after losing the the 2-on-1 date to Danielle L.
But, plot twist! Nick then also decides to send Danielle L. packing. As they sit down to their romantic dinner, Danielle L. nonstop jabbers on about absolutely nothing. You can actually see Nick’s eyes glaze over, envisioning having to spend the rest of his life around a high-pitched voice that never shuts up — and it’s terrifying to him.
But what makes the situation so difficult is that this is what he’s thinking… As Danielle L. confesses she’s falling in love with him. Awkward!
Making matters even worse for Nick, all this goes down right after having the most uncomfortably conversation with Jasmine G. Now, homegirl was spiraling, and spiraling bad. We thought Danielle L. had won the title of most annoyingly chatty contestant, but in Jasmine G.’s meltdown of self-doubt, she can’t stop talking about how frustrated she is for feeling any self-doubt at all.
“I want to throw you down and choke you for not noticing me,” she says to Nick after finally getting some alone time. But this isn’t the kinky kind of choking that Nick’s into: Nick’s not feeling Jasmine G., and he doesn’t wait for a rose ceremony to send her home.
Kristina gets the one-on-one date with Nick this week, and she’s not super quick to open up — nor is Nick super quick to pick up on that. Someone not readily wiling to spill her guts to a guy she doesn’t know that well — and on national TV, natch — isn’t anything Nick can truly understand. But
producers on his back, Nick persists in his mission to get ratings up finally get to know the 24-year-old dental hygienist.
“I can’t even pretend to relate or understand,” Nick says after Kristina opens up about her upbringing, eating lipstick when there was no food at home, her adoption from Russia. He clearly admires Kristina — but it’s now apparent even to Nick, they aren’t going to be a match. Other than the amount of chemistry in their kiss — which is none — Kristina is one strong and courageously brave woman. Nick only looks more pathetic than usual standing by her side, and he can feel it. He’s very lucky to be the kind of guy whose most interesting story is that it’s his fourth stint on a “Bachelor” show, and his biggest hardship in life is getting dumped.
Kristina’s backstory also makes Corinne, who’s over the moon they have a maid while on vacation in St. Thomas, even more grrrr-inducing. But we’re not talking about Corinne this week, because we don’t want to. We’re exhausted by her.
And Nick is, apparently, just exhausted. He’s sending girls home left and right. And these are women he thought for sure he had a connection with. It’s throwing him for a loop! After the surprise of sending both girls from the 2-on-1 date home, Nick breaks down.
He tells the six remaining women that he doesn’t know if he can do “this” anymore. “This” being the show. The women left, save Corinne, have all made it abundantly clear that they are tired of fighting for his attention. While it feels like these women may have never watched “The Bachelor” — since, you know, fighting for a man’s attention is the basis of the entire show — if they refuse to go out on a limb to win his heart, that means Nick has to make the bold efforts. He’ll have to be vulnerable, possibly open himself up to once again get broken-hearted on national TV.
None of these women have to accept his proposal. And with Nick’s reputation, along with how he’s acting with Corinne, if he doesn’t end up proposing to this season’s villain, viewers wouldn’t blame any of these women for turning him down come finale time.
This is not how Nick saw his season going! It’s not at all the 3-month Spring Break party he envisioned, sleeping with as many women as possible. He got “stuck” with solid group of respectable women who, again save for Corinne, want to feel loved, seen, and confident that their feelings are reciprocated.
Everyone is supposed to be chasing him. He’s not supposed to be in the hot seat! Nick doesn’t know what to do!
Ultimately, there’s no way Nick quits. For one, he’s contractually obligated to do five more episodes, and the show has already used up all their hilarious Alexis blooper scenes to fill time. But the main reason he won’t throw in the towel is because
he has nothing else to do, he doesn’t want his legacy to be “the only guy who’s ever quit.” It’s a chump move. The act of scared loser. He wants to be famous, but not because of that.
And lastly, it would be career suicide. Nick’s somehow made being featured on “The Bachelor” his livelihood. So rest easy, fans. Nick isn’t going anywhere, other than back to his St. Thomas villa.
“The Bachelor” airs on Monday nights at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.