Trial wedding photos on the first date? Why not? Nick Viall can’t possibly pick a wife unless he’s confident that she can perfectly complement him in photos. Sure, “The Bachelor” star is playing this off like it’s a silly task — but we both know the girls who don’t shine in these pictures will be packing their bags. How else can Nick make his boatload of money selling first look-engagement photos if his bride-to-be isn’t photogenic?
Corrine, the self-appointed villain of the season, gamely strips off her top and insists Nick grab her boobs for their pictures. While Nick pretends to be taken aback by her forwardness, he picks the 24-year-old blonde bombshell as the wedding photo challenge winner. While all the girls find her stripping down for attention move tacky, Corinne stands by her bold play. “When I like a guy,” she says, “I like a guy.” And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen.
Corrine has no shame. She is all about interrupting other people’s dates and making an already uncomfortable situation even more cringeworthy. “Dad would be proud,” she announces, after Nick again rewards her audacious behavior by giving her a rose. Corrine seems to be the the kind of girl whose main goal in high school was to be featured in a “Girls Gone Wild” video on Spring Break… And Nick is the kind of guy who would’ve been stoked to have been right there filming it.
“Is Nick looking for someone that will pop her tits out at any moment?” Raven asks. It’s a valid question. The answer is yes. Nick is trying his damnedest to keep his freak flag hidden, but we’re not even halfway through the second episode and that new good-guy facade he created on “Bachelor in Paradise” is already cracking.
Nick’s decision to give the proactive Corrine a rose does not sit well with the other women. They all start wondering if Nick is serious about being here. Now now, ladies. There’s no need to question the gravitas with which Nick takes being “The Bachelor.” He is, without a doubt, fully committed to milking this reality TV show fame for all it’s worth…
Oh, wait. You mean Did he come on the show to find a real relationship and actually get married? LOL.
That’s ridiculous. Of course he is! For the three months he’s contractually obligated to do exactly that, of course he is.
Nick’s just… Not as good at playing it off as producers hoped. Earning points back in his good guy basket, he chooses the sweet as can be Danielle M. for the honor of the first solo date. Which he rethinks within one second of the awkward silence as they sit down to a dinner they won’t finish, which forces Nick to ask, “So, how do you think this date is going?”
Just when you think Nick is going to say
you didn’t let me your touch your boobs so you’re going home “we’re not vibing,” Danielle M. opens up about her tragic past. She reveals that her ex-fiance died of drug overdose, and she didn’t even know he was an addict. As if that wasn’t enough, she also, uh, found the body. Nick instantly transforms from bored “Bachelor” into a caring, shoulder to cry on. He says all the right things, Danielle M. gets her first kiss from the guy who now couldn’t possibly send her packing, and a rose to stay.
Not faring so well Monday night (Jan. 9) is Liz. Excuse us, Elizabeth aka “Liz,” who at this point, would blab to the drive-up order machine at Burger King that she hooked up with Nick at Jade and Tanner’s wedding. In the premiere, it was clear Nick was less thrilled than flattered by Liz’s surprise resurfacing. And the fact that her actions are now forcing Nick to reveal their history — and in such a way it’s impossible to make the other ladies believe he wasn’t trying to keep it a secret (which he was) — his frustration reaches a boiling point and abruptly, he sends Liz, aka Liz, home.
It’s hard to feel for Elizabeth aka “Liz.” She wants the knight in shining armor to chase her, even when she offers no compelling reason to do so. As slimy as Nick can be, we actually side with him in this situation. Not being into someone who clearly rejected you before is a totally normal human response — perhaps the most mature decision we’ve seen Nick make. Even he can see that anyone clamoring for your affection only after you’re starring on a popular reality show is… not worth your time. Girl, bye.
Next week, it will be very interesting to see what happens once all the woman learn of his tryst with Liz at Jade and Tanner’s wedding. And hopefully, it will be the last episode we ever have to hear about Jade and Tanner’s wedding. Because we need the screen time to learn more about which girls in the house that Jaimi is into, because Nick getting left in the dust for another contestant would be a truly unprecedented plot twist.
“The Bachelor” airs on Monday nights at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.